I am at a crossroads in my life,
Turn left for a wild dream, an impossible possibility
Keep right to continue the course I’m on,
chained to my desk, in my cubicle, confined.
It’s not a cell if there are no bars, right?
Golden handcuffs encircle my wrists, keeping me from straying.
I have been here for two decades already and feel as if
I’m at the Hotel California, workday edition.
I can check out anytime I like, but I can never leave
(well, at least not until I’m 55)
It’s a place of topsy-turvy logic, where the rare and ever-elusive
common sense is supposed to roam, but I have yet to see it.
Where bad and mediocre are rewarded,
good is overworked, anonymous and taken for granted,
worked into the ground, ground into bits.
I ask myself – how much more can I take?
Of biting my tongue so much I have only a stump left
and words pile up likerocks in an empty well,
Feelings of frustration and stagnation rule the day.
Perhaps the crossroads really isn’t about choosing a direction or changing course;
maybe it’s more about attitude and acknowledgment.
Acknowledging the fact that with the soul-sucking atmosphere of any cubicle colony,
comes a steady income and the sense of security.
Keeping an attitude of gratitude and understanding that today’s hardships are
the lessons I’ll need tomorrow.
Understanding that wherever I go, I take myself with me.
Of having faith that there is a greater good and a reason for it all;
Knowing that this, too shall pass.
It all shall pass and all too quickly for the good times, the days of summer and
the wild nights that only youth in its arrogance can orchestrate.
In their place now are quiet nights of contemplation and relaxation,
Looking forward to a new chapter, a new direction and creating new memories,
Traveling and exploring, finding beauty in everyday life,
love in everyday interactions.
I am at a crossroads and I close my eyes, spin in a circle then open them,
walking forward, trusting my intuition to guide me.
With an open mind and my preconceived notions unpacked and left behind,
I move forward, always forward, away from the past, fully living in the present, heading
for a future that is unknown yet I’m certain full of promise.