So, after yesterday’s indulgent, temper-tantrum reminiscent post, where I was able to just vent like a 2 year old on a sugar high, I now must come back with a new thought to dominate my wicked little mind, lest I end up in the unemployment line for my disrespect and insolence to the Great Leader. Not to mention poisoning myself with such incredible powerfully negative thoughts and aggressive, combative feelings. Yeah. I feel the hangover of it today; slightly queasy to my stomach for having ingested the thoughts in the first place, headachy from the strain of maintaining the level of anger that I achieved and drugged from the Xanax I took to try and calm down. Fantastic way to just scramble the brain and body.
So! Today is going to be all about Auto Pilot. Engage monkey brain, put active, intelligent, perceptive brain to sleep for the day. Like a robot, do the work, smile with empty eyes at the people around and just do the basics that constitute my job. No super-heroic efforts to change what cannot be changed, no activist, fired up for change and shouting from the rooftops the injustice of Life in the Workplace. Just the shuffling of papers, opening of letters, answering of calls and the mundane tasks of keeping the wheels on the bus going round and round.
I have to have a plan, if I am to make it through the last few years of my time at work. I have school starting again in August and my hope is that I will be able to focus on my education and bringing my GPA up and be able to turn a blind eye to everything that seems to give me such agitation in the workplace and engage the Auto Pilot for the next couple of years. That’s about as good as I can think of at the moment, but I’m sure the Good Lord will present some different options in His time. For now, it’s time to put on my Big Girl Panties get back at it.
Thanks, as always, for taking the time to stop by for a read.